Just a quick little post on some DIYs I finished up before it got cold out here in Calgary. All these DIYs required staining or painting outside, so I did them in a little bit of a rush (kind of like this post because it’s […]
Today is my second marriage anniversary! It feels like it was only yesterday that I met my husband. Like many other people these days my husband and I met via online dating. I remember my husband’s funny and thoughtful first e-mail to me and after 2 years of dating we got engaged on Christmas Eve. We’re now blessed with a beautiful daughter and loving friends and family that I’m thankful for everyday!
A little over a week ago my husband I attended a a friend’s wedding. I was one of the bridesmaids and while preparing a speech I asked my husband what he thought was the best advice we could give the couple. We started to reminisce on our relationship and remembered the moments in the first months of dating when our focus was 100% on each other. During our conversation we not only realized that those moments were now few and far between, but that we also missed those moments. So this is the advice we shared with the couple:
We’ve also tried to take our own advice and spend one night a week at home with no electronics. Our time is spent playing board games, reading, or just talking over tea. It’s been a refreshing change of pace! We recommend it to all you couple out there 🙂
What do you all think? Do you have any marrige (or couple) advice to share?
Last week, while Em and I were waiting for my cousin, a mama sitting near by with her 22 month old daughter started up a conversation. It began with the usual comments and questions that I’m sure all us mamas are familiar with. “Boy or girl?”, “she’s so little!”, “how old?” and so on. You all know what I’m talking about right? Then, out of nowhere, the other mama looked me in the eye and asked “and how are you doing?”. A little part of me was shocked and I wonder if she could tell.
I had been asked about my well being by my friends and family, but never once by a complete stranger. Right then and there I had this mama’s full attention. Not once in the 7 months that I’ve had Em has a stranger asked me how I was doing. I replied that I was doing good and after she gave me a smile we continued to chat about our babies. I left that conversation with peace in my mind and a full heart. All it had taken was her one question on how I was doing.
It wasn’t until I was winding down for the evening that I realized why the mama’s question had made me feel so happy. It wasn’t the question itself, but all the things that laid beneath it. Hidden was everything that nobody ever really wanted to mention. ” Do you feel overwhelmed?”, “do you need someone to talk to?”, “have you been feeling down?”, and most significantly “I’ve been there recently, I know what it’s like”. The question was an unspoken acknowledgment of walking the same path.
I’ve never been one to embrace the idea of “it takes a village to raise a child” but maybe that’s because I misunderstood its meaning. I thought that the quote meant that a mama had to rely on others to meet the needs of a child. Instead, I now believe it to mean that us mamas should support each other in the nurturing of our children. The mama I was having my conversation with may not have had the same beliefs and practices as I do with Em, but she understood everything I was going through. She knew how difficult it could be, and wasn’t afraid to ask how I was handling it all. I like to think of all us mamas walking the path of motherhood but wearing different shoes.
Since that day, I’ve tried to make a conscious effort to ask other mamas I met how they are doing. I do so in hopes of passing on my unspoken understanding of motherhood. Since we’re all travelling the same path, we may as well do it together right?