Since becoming a mother my morning routine has drastically changed. Instead of enjoying a coffee while casually doing my hair and makeup I now jump out of bed, wash up, and tie my hair back in a bun. I’m lucky if I can drink a […]
Month: September 2016
Last week, while Em and I were waiting for my cousin, a mama sitting near by with her 22 month old daughter started up a conversation. It began with the usual comments and questions that I’m sure all us mamas are familiar with. “Boy or girl?”, “she’s so little!”, “how old?” and so on. You all know what I’m talking about right? Then, out of nowhere, the other mama looked me in the eye and asked “and how are you doing?”. A little part of me was shocked and I wonder if she could tell.
I had been asked about my well being by my friends and family, but never once by a complete stranger. Right then and there I had this mama’s full attention. Not once in the 7 months that I’ve had Em has a stranger asked me how I was doing. I replied that I was doing good and after she gave me a smile we continued to chat about our babies. I left that conversation with peace in my mind and a full heart. All it had taken was her one question on how I was doing.
It wasn’t until I was winding down for the evening that I realized why the mama’s question had made me feel so happy. It wasn’t the question itself, but all the things that laid beneath it. Hidden was everything that nobody ever really wanted to mention. ” Do you feel overwhelmed?”, “do you need someone to talk to?”, “have you been feeling down?”, and most significantly “I’ve been there recently, I know what it’s like”. The question was an unspoken acknowledgment of walking the same path.
I’ve never been one to embrace the idea of “it takes a village to raise a child” but maybe that’s because I misunderstood its meaning. I thought that the quote meant that a mama had to rely on others to meet the needs of a child. Instead, I now believe it to mean that us mamas should support each other in the nurturing of our children. The mama I was having my conversation with may not have had the same beliefs and practices as I do with Em, but she understood everything I was going through. She knew how difficult it could be, and wasn’t afraid to ask how I was handling it all. I like to think of all us mamas walking the path of motherhood but wearing different shoes.
Since that day, I’ve tried to make a conscious effort to ask other mamas I met how they are doing. I do so in hopes of passing on my unspoken understanding of motherhood. Since we’re all travelling the same path, we may as well do it together right?